banthapediafandomcom-20200213-history
Darth Graz
Ching-Ming Wah was born on Taanab, a planet known for being unknown. (It was later made famous by Lando Calrissian). Wah’s parents were immigrants from Corellia and .They chose to name him Ching-Ming Wah because they thought it was funny. Representing the apex of their humor was the fact that, although spelled "C-H-I-N-G-M-I-N-G-W-A-H”, his name was actually pronounced “Frank”. Wah killed his parents after he came home from his first day of school, where his teacher spent 2 hours getting stuck on his name while taking attendance. It was accidental, as he just wanted to yell at them, but he was strong with the Force, and ended up unwittingly using his raw powers to choke them to death from across the room. At first Wah was upset, but after realizing there was nobody to tell him to stop running with scissors, he felt liberated. Wah was extremely talented with the Force, but was untrained. One day he was using his ability to shoot lightning from his scrotum in order to cook his dinner, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Wah opened the door and was confronted by an overweightman in brown hooded robes. The man introduced himself as a Jedi Knight, and told Wah he sensed his force abilities from afar and was going to take him to Coruscant to be trained as a Jedi Knight. Wah was thrilled. He was excited to travel and he was going to learn how to use his strange powers more efficiently. Wah’s first day of Youngling training nearly ended in disaster when the Jedi instructor took attendance, but the instructor’s mastery of the Force allowed him to deflect Wah’s attacks and calm him down. Realizing something needed to be done, the instructor made the necessary arrangements to change Ching-Ming Wah’s name to Frank. This suited Wah fine, and he knew he was home. Frank was talented and quickly grew even stronger with the Force, in fact, stronger than almost any Jedi before. So some of the scholars did some tests to figure out why he was so strong.Frank was given a 500 question test to determine any anomalies. The answers revealed almost nothing, until question 500, which was “How many testicles do you have?” Frank answered “3”. The Jedi were stunned, and determined that his extra ball was responsible for his extraordinary Force powers.T hey kept this a secret. One day, the temple shipping clerk, Jedi Knight Pea-Tear Gryphon, was picking up the mail from the Council offices, when he found the memo about Frank’s powers. Gryphon thought this was hilarious, being that he was technically retarded, and decided it would be funny to let everyone know. One day, Frank went into the men’s room to take a leak, when Gryphon jumped from around the corner and ripped Frank’s pants down. Everyone in the men’s room saw Frank’s three testicles. Frank was mortified, and his anger flowed through his balls. The resulting dark side lightning killed Pea-Tear Gryphon and injured several other Jedi. Frank escaped the temple, and went into hiding. News of the attack spread. There was even a short segment on the evening holonet news. Coincidentally, Darth Misogynous was watching the news from a bar on Coruscant, and knew he had found his next apprentice. He used his Sith abilities to sense Frank’s location, and eventually found him curled up in a fetal position in an alley in the lower levels of the city. Misogynous took Frank under his wing, and trained him. Frank was extraordinarily talented, and he made a great Sith. When his training was complete, Misogynous named him Darth Salmonella. But Frank said, “Fine, but I want it spelled G-R-A-Z”. Misogynous didn’t get it, and said he would just name him Darth Graz to make it easier. So Frank said “Fine, but then I want it spelled S-A-L-M-O-N-E-L-L-A”. Misogynous told him to shut the hell up, and his name was Darth Graz and that was the end of it. Frank gave in, but he secretly knew it was going to be pronounced Salmonella, even if it was spelled G-R-A-Z. Eventually, Graz grew to be one of the most powerful Sith Lords ever.But he had no real need to kill his master, because Misogynous spent most of his spare time aging himself backwards, so he knew exactly when he was going to die. Sure enough, Misogynous was a child, then a baby, then a fetus, then an embryo, and finally he split and died. Graz was sad that his master was dead, mostly because he didn’t get to kill him. But now it was time to find his own apprentice. Not long after the death of his master, Graz found a talented Force adept named Eephus Dickle, and trained him as Darth Clownshoes. This guy died after only a short time as a Sith, in a gruesome skiing accident. An annoyed and disappointed Graz decided to change Dickle's name posthumously, to Darth Dissatisfactory, just so history would show what thought of him. Anyway, Graz luckily found Darth Hangnail, and the Sith line would continue long after Graz’s own murder at the gnarled and bony hands of this apprentice. Category:Sith Lords Category:No-Names Category:Needs Work!